Tuesday, February 2, 2010

What's Eating Me?

There's a saying that goes, "it's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you". The theory is that some people eat to avoid feeling things. At least that's my interpretation anyway. So if someone is an emotional eater, they are supposed to take certain steps to stop the negative pattern of stuffing feelings and stuffing tummy. If an emotional eater is about to embark on a no-no (plate of cookies), she should stop, ask herself what she's feeling, then deal with the feelings - and say no to the food.

I've been thinking about this lately because I recognize that on some level, I am an emotional eater. I'm also an emotional exerciser, so I maintain a fairly normal weight, thankfully. And although I have never eaten a whole tub of ice cream, or stuffed an entire loaf of bread down my throat, I do have tendencies. If I'm feeling agitated and there is a granola bar (or four) in my path, it's likely it is being consumed. Hence the sugar free thing*

But what if an emotional eater doesn't know what is bugging her? Or what if she does, but she doesn't know how to fix it? What then? I've been stumped by both of these questions at one time or another just this week. There have been times that I feel revved up and want to inhale something - but when I analyse my "feelings", I feel just fine. I'm not sad, angry, disappointed, etc. I feel just feel fine, thanks.

Then there are other times, like right now, where I know what I'm feeling but I don't know what to do about the feelings. So I'm writing a blog.

Here's what's eating me...

1. I am miffed that my daughter got mad at me for not wanting to play school - after I had just spent 45 minutes being her "art student" even though I was super tired. I thought I should be seen as a good mom, since I was so fun and patient, but I ended up being viewed as a bad mom. this bugs me.

2. My daughter asked me why I have lines on my face. Wouldn't bother me so much if I hadn't been noticing the same thing lately myself.

3. I am hurt that my daughters both want my husband to put them to bed every night. It wouldn't be so bad if he just did it and I could get a break. But we each put one kid to bed every night, which means that almost every night one or the other kid is crying and whining because she has to have mommy.

4. My husband has a cold, which means he doesn't feel like eating and he goes to bed as soon as the kids are in bed. It just feels weird, and a little lonely.

So that's what's eating me. And because I can't really expect validation from a 5 yr old, and I can't be mad at my husband for being sick, I am writing a blog.

* and here is where I fess up about my slip tonight. What prompted me to write all this? Maybe the FOUR granola bars I pounded down while making my kids lunches. I have been pretty good about the whole no-sugar thing. But I bought a pack of granola bars for the kids lunches. Why?! I don't know. I guess I thought I could be trusted. But after my emotional charge through four wrappers, I realized there was something else going on. So I'm blogging. And I must admit, I feel better (even though I have a bit of a tummy ache!).

1 comment:

  1. After reading this, you know I feel encouraged. The reason being at times I can relate with emotional eating.

    I find when I journal I feel a little better also. It's like I have let it escape on paper and become honest with myself about what's really going on. It's been released out into the open. I love that feeling.